Monday, March 23, 2009

Plug to Geek's Dream Girl and More on Sex!

Today E. Foley from Geek's Dream Girl contacted me to let me know that I won my very own Player's Handbook 2 for D&D 4th Edition, so I thought giving her a plug was the least I could do in exchange.

Geek's Dream Girl is in my opinion a great and unique site set up by an online dating profiler geared at helping nerdy folks find love. The idea of marketing dating advice to that specific market is really a stroke of genius and I see her brand going far. We geeks need more helpful souls like her.

In that theme I'll offer my own bits of advice which E. is more than welcome to repost if she wishes.

I myself don't actually need the help E. offers because I've been blessed with the fortune to find the love of my life already and I suppose I've been doubly blessed by the fact that she has become an expert on sexuality and helps run a love boutique. I've learned many things from her and I'll share some tips on how to impress a girl with a few helpful sex toys.

When people talk about sex toys, they think vibrators and dildos and the general consensus is that they’re just for women and even then only for self pleasure. Most of us guys don’t seem to have a problem with that. Let the women have their free-rotating, 8-setting, glow-in-the-dark thingamagingies, all we need is some porn and a private space.

However, we gamers all know the difference having a few pieces of equipment can make to the success of a campaign, so I'm going to detail a few choice things you can use in that other battlefield they call the bedroom.

I’ll start with the most basic and most important: Lube.

Lube keeps things running smoothly, we’re guys, we know this. We keep the fluids checked on our cars for this very reason, but most of us probably don’t know what works for sexual lubrication.

For sex, there are really only two options, water-based lube, or Silicone lube. Water based is preferable for just about every purpose and cheaper than Silicone. Water based lubes are clean, odorless, edible, won’t stain your LARP outfit and can be used with any toy out there. The down-side to water lubes is that they dry-out and lose their slickness eventually.

Silicone based lubes generally provide a longer-lasting smoothness than water lubes can, however they may stain those silk breeches slightly and isn't edible. Silicone lubes are also potentially harmful to certain realistic toys, but is completely safe to use with latex condoms.

What you should NOT be using for sex are oils like vegetable or massage oil, and Vaseline or KY Jelly will erode any condom you choose to use. Any oil-based lubricant will attract bacteria, which could cause an infection and that will not reflect well on you.

Ultimately, it’s a good idea just to have a water-based lube in your sock drawer, if it’s flavored that’s one less potential hurdle to getting some wild head, and it can still be used to smooth your initial entrance, and if you're girl is just as nerdy as you, you can call it your +1 potion to lovemaking.

Next we come to bullets, and no you’re not loading any guns with these ones.

Bullet is the term used for a small vibrator that’s not designed for penetration; they can be about the size of an egg or smaller and vary in intensity and capability as well. Bullets are generally used by women to stimulate the clitoris, and can be used during sex for clit-stim to help get her off before you.

When you're shopping for bullets at Ye-Ol Erotic Magic Shop don’t be afraid to ask the shopkeep about them before you buy. The main thing to watch for is how well it vibrates, not all vibrations are equal, but lucky for you boutiques are not like department stores and any good clerk will show you what kind of vibration your toy has before you buy it. A good test is to put it to the tip of your nose. The tip of your nose is the part that has the 2nd most nerve-endings in your body, (you can guess where the first is) so it’s a good gauge to how it’ll feel for her.

Once you’ve got a bullet, keep it in a cool dry area of your house. Sock drawers are nature’s ideal location for all sex toys, so keep it there. Bring it out during sex and you can control it if you’re going down on her, but let her handle the positioning when you’re inside her. Women know what feels good and letting her control this aspect of the whole sexual act will only reflect better on you later. One thing though, it's not good form to share a toy with multiple partners (unless they're in bed with you at the same time).

Cock rings like enchanted ones in fantasy games can have a dramatic effect on your performance, and there are a wide array to choose from, some act as sleeves for your penis with stubs or pocket to hold a bullet for extra stimulation, and some are basically a noose for your tool. I prefer the latter, here’s why:

The general advantage to a cock ring is that it restricts blood-flow from your penis as well as tightens around the vas deferens to hold back the orgasm. This is a multi-layered benefit. The first and most obvious change once a cock ring is on and tightened is that the penis gets thicker and the veins all throughout it become extremely pronounced and ridge-like. To your woman, this is a GOOD thing, you become bigger thicker and bumpy, it’s like giving your penis a strength potion. The next thing is that of course it let’s you go for longer and because of this the orgasm is considerably more intense when it does come.

With any sexual toy there is an additional factor that is very important, cleanliness. I mentioned sock drawers twice already and there is a reason for this. Sock drawers are dry, and clean. However you still need to use additional cleaning methods. Most boutiques will offer some safe suds for your toys to keep them clean without damaging them. Don’t use harsh chemical cleaners because they will often damage or weaken the item, and toys aren’t overly cheap so it’s in your best interest to keep them in good condition.

With a few of these items you can impress your lover with your desire to please and knowledge of advanced sexual techniques, and with any luck will help fill the world with more little geeks and we can take over the world more quickly. So if you've got any spare change after picking up the latest supplement, stop by a boutique and pick some up, your dream girl will thank you.

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